The End... for now

This will be my last post for a while, although I will continue this journey, I will not be documenting it anymore. I know I am not a writer, and for the most part don't enjoy it that much. I tend to bottle things up and spill it all out verbally, and having to sit down and write doesn't help. I will come back to this if necessary, but most likely will continue on my own.
Thank you for reading...
Bonjour

Review Run Week

It's great, it's bad, it's everything in between. I wish I could love running, but to be honest no matter how much I try to do this it doesn't seem to do much for me. I don't have the endurance and dedication to continue running, but I really wish I did. I get away with a day or two enjoying some of the run, but I usually get bored especially when I have a consistent fear of someone following me. Is this a crazy notion? Yes, yes it is, but once I get over this, I know it is one of the best workouts one can do because it is all me, myself and I.

The Great Escape

So it's taken me a while to come around to writing this post. I really didn't want to have to deal with the reality of this past month. At the beginning of October I was asked,"What is your favorite holiday?" To which I responded the entire month of October for two reasons: Oktoberfest, and halloween. While my friends looked forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas, I looked forward to brats, beer, and costumes. However, this October that wasn't the case, this October I lost my best friend, and grandmother. It was a time that drained me emotionally and physically, and as difficult as it was to come to terms with my grief, I knew eventually I would have to move forward with my life and pretend like it didn't hurt anymore. To help move forward I took a million steps back and turned to the one thing that would bring some level of comfort...food. Everything I had worked for was slowly being replaced with tighter clothes and less energy to even consider trying. Over the weekend I was reminded, that I used to be more willing to try new things, and just have fun. I've become content with my routine and even convinced myself that I was okay with how things were playing out. It was a very scary feeling realizing that I have been on autopilot for who knows how long. I would hate to look back and think that I didn't even enjoy life as it happened. I look towards my future and wonder if I'll be doing what I love or what I've settled for. I look at this post in two ways, either I stop the excuses and self doubt, or I continue settling for autopilot and wake up 5 years from now hating myself and what I've become. 

This morning I woke up and went for a jog/walk... 2 miles of what felt like the great escape. Escaping all thoughts and emotions and just struggling to finish strong. The rush of endorphines soared through my body as music guided me towards my imaginary finish line. I followed it with a relaxing yoga cool down which felt invigorating. I realized it was the first time since my grandma had passed that I didn't truly feel sad or angry. For a while I felt guilty, how can I be okay without her supporting me and praying for me, without her just being there. I've come to understand that it isn't that I'm not sad anymore cause I'll always miss her and always be reminded of that aching feeling, but now I feel a sense of peace knowing that she'd want me to live and experiance, and have fun just as she did. I finish this post sincerely hoping that I continue this journey and don't fall back towards comfort. 

 Draco accompanied me today on my walk.

 

"Bad day, looking for a way home,

looking for the great escape.

Gets in his car and drives away,

far from all the things that we are.

Puts on a smile and breathes it in

and breathes it out, he says,

bye bye bye to all of the noise.

Oh, he says, bye bye bye to all of the noise.

Hey child, things are looking down.

That's okay, you don't need to win anyways.

Don't be afraid, just eat up all the gray

and it will fade all away.

Don't let yourself fall down.

Bad day, looking for the great escape.

He says, bad day, looking for the great escape.

On a bad day, looking for the great escape,

the great escape."

The Great Escape- PatrickWatson

Review Insanity

Insanity is great if you're a little sadistic and love to be tortured and laughed at. It really makes an impact on how you would continue with working out. Everyone in the video is perfectly shaped and toned which is great motivation to want to look just like them. Looks aside there is one person who comes out in the video who really drove me insane. Tania was one of the only people aside from Sean T (the instructor) that actually enjoys the workout. I will give her props as she is one heck of an "athlete" if thats what you would call an insanity workout person. While everyone else is at least acting like this workout isn't meant for humans, she smiles and asks for more. At the very least, I finished the workout, tearfully so, and will do it again as it really great cardio workout.

Back again, I must be Insane in the Membrane

Hello world,
I'm back and ready to move forward. As you may have noticed I have been MIA for the past 3 weeks or so. To be honest, everything that I said I would like to avoid getting in the way, got in the way. Commitments, lack of sleep, energy, and quite frankly time, were all factors in my lack of exercise and healthy food choices for the past few weeks. However, with everything calming down I should be able to re-enter the world of health and fitness, and give you all the posts you have been anxiously awaiting. To my surprise, although I have been a horrible example of how to lose weight, I have done just that. If anyone has a logical explanation as to why this happens, please let me know, because somehow I have managed to lose about 2.5 lb. without any effort from my part. I have mixed emotions about this because it seems like the more I try to lose weight the less I actually do, and vice-versa. Should I just be happy that there is some progress? Or should this be a lesson about not paying attention to the lb. and more to just having a healthy lifestyle?

Again moving forward, and without further ado, let me present you with this weeks exercise, it will surely drive me insane, Insanity. Although I have done it before, I will actually follow the videos in order and not by preference. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, Insanity is an at home workout set for 60 days of intense cardio, plyometrics, and a whole bunch of "fun" workouts. It is led by fitness guru Sean T, and is a series by the company Beachbody, that has many resources for their participants. The exercises vary by level and duration, and it allows you to track your progress as you have to take a fitness test during the first video, which is also revisited throughout the series. I've never actually kept track of my progress, but for you all, I'll do just that. To  see actual results I will be doing Insanity for two weeks, which is the entire video collection, instead of one.

For this post I'll leave you without a song lyric as quite frankly I am not excited for the next two weeks. Wish me luck!!

Review Bicycle Week

Cycling is fun and really helped me be alone with my thoughts. It took a while to get used to the small seat as I used a road bike for my endeavor. Once the pain subsides, you actually start to enjoy the ride. The fresh air blowing in my face, made it so much better. I felt really accomplished as well, cause with a bike you can do two, to three times as much with less effort. When I walk/run I am lucky if I can do 2-3 miles, however when I use the bike I do 8-10 miles in the same amount of time.

Mama Chia I'm a Bicycle Queen in Training

So I almost gave up before I even started, the sweet comfort of my sheets in a cold dark room were begging me to stay in all day, but after 45 min. of stalling, I got up and got ready. The entire pedal of the way I was sure I would turn back home, but I made it. In an hour I was able to complete 8 miles and according to my Fitbit app, burn 244 calories. When they said slow and steady wins the race, I definitely felt like a winner after my ride. I was able to get over that ever-present lazy feeling that likes to take over and officially start my journey. At the end of the week I'll give you my full thoughts and effects of 1 week of cycling. My starting weight this week was an ugly 170 lbs, we'll see where I end up in a week. 

Today I stopped by Sprouts to do a little a shopping and decided to try the Mama Chia juices and give you all a little review. Let me just say it such a great alternative to soda. They have different flavors of juices that are mixed with chia seeds. Don't ask me about what the benefits are because I wouldn't know. It does however seem like a healthy choice. I will say that chia seeds are high in Omega-3s which I'm sure is good for us, and the flavors are all some type of sweet fruit. I will say the only downside to buying this juice is the price tag, each one is a little more than $3, which is pretty steep if you ask me. It is however worth it if you want to fork out the money every time. I recommend these 100%!!!

As I continue this week I hope you'll join me in singing along to Queen's Bicycle Race...

"I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like"